You can be faced with quite a dilemma when you have young children at the same time as being in a toxic relationship or a situation where things simply aren't working between you and your spouse. It can be a tough decision whether you should see out the relationship until the kids are older and can handle a divorce better or to pull the plaster off in one go and end the relationship. Either way, it's always going to be a difficult and stressful outcome for all concerned parties.

Therefore, you need to consider a few things before jumping into a divorce. It is vital that you take all things into consideration, and here are some tips to do just that.

Think about how it will affect your children and plan for this

If you are set on filing for divorce, it will create a difficult situation with your children. While a lot of divorces are civilised splits where both parties mutually agree to move on with their lives, a lot of divorces end in tears and they turn into a game of who can get the most off the other person. When kids are involved, this can be terribly detrimental to their well-being.

Kids should come first, before any material possessions that may be up for discussion. You need to shield them as best you can from the proceedings, and you don't want to get them involved and having to make tough choices such as who they want to live with.

The best practice is for both spouses to agree on a custody arrangement that is acceptable to both parties. Custody battles can be long and drawn out, often leading to a lot of animosity from the children. Sometimes it is necessary to fight the battles, but you should always be doing it for the right reasons, putting your kids first.

Understand the process that is involved

Lawyer fees are not cheap; they will get paid handsomely for their time working on a divorce. Therefore, coming to a swift and acceptable agreement is always the best course of action rather than having the affair drag on for over a year, leading to rising legal fees.

You will need to plan ahead in order to be able to pay these legal fees as well as having to potentially pay alimony or child support. If you decide on getting a divorce, you should split any joint bank accounts you and your spouse may share as well as cancelling any joint credit cards if there is a fear that they will use them negatively.

For more information and legal advice, talk with a family law firm before making any big decisions. 

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